Most of the time, we operate within a linear mental framework, using thought to arrive at an answer or solution to a problem. This works well for many things, but if we use it to shine a light on ourselves and the question of who we are, what life is, and how to live without regrets, thought has its limitations. Thought can only reach and deal with things from the outside. We think “about” something, which means we stay on the outside, putting light on an object to see it better or closer, but we can’t reach the “nature of “what it is” its beingness. We stay in a dualistic relationship, even to ourselves. We look “at” ourselves, splitting the watcher and the watched into two, always staying on the outside.
Somebody told me recently, “I feel like a detective, trying to keep track of my wants, my thoughts, and feelings.” Tracking our internal happenings promises a certain amount of control and knowing, but then what? It’s like a dog chasing its tail. Going around and around, we are still operating from a base of separation, trying to achieve something instead of recognizing the immediacy of “what is.” Instead of seeing that “what we are,” our original nature is never touched or hindered by anything - freely appearing as all the ten thousand manifestations.
Many Zen sayings and words try to turn us away from looking from the outside towards “being.” But, the moment we try to get closer, the moment we try to understand, we hit a wall. Not because the words are so complicated but because we want to grasp what they are pointing to from a distance.
In one of his sermons, the sixth Chinese Patriarch Hui-Neng (638-713) says, “No thought is the essence; no-form is the substance and no-abiding is the base. No-form means being detached from form in form. No-thought means being without thought in thinking. No-abiding is our original nature.” This is not something we create through practice, but it is the insight that in the distinct and clear form of this moment there is no center, no “me.” In the clear thought of this moment, there is no thinker; what we are changes freely moment to moment and yet never moves.
We are not a thing that can be grasped, understood, or reached by mental activities. If we artificially divide ourselves into two, with me searching for the “real me,” we create suffering. What we are yearning for is closer than anything we could think about. Wherever we are, it is right there. Whatever we hear, see, smell, taste, feel or think, is it - the activity of the Unthinkable, unbound and vividly alive.
The yearly subscription covers January 2021 to December 2021
Thank you for sharing your writing each month! These seem to arrive at just the right time. I hope you continue next year.
Truly remarkable! thank you Ursula