The willingness and readiness to defend our opinions and ideas of what’s right and wrong, often based on misinformation, denial, and twisting reality, seems to increase everywhere. We might be perplexed by the degree and intensity with which facts are ignored and by the sheer self-centeredness of it, but we need to look at ourselves and see how the same patterns might be operating and deluding us.
We are convinced that we are an enduring, permanent somebody -a lasting “self” - and we have clearly defined images about that “self” - I am a woman, I am German, I am smart or stupid, I need this but can’t abide by that. All our problems are rooted in this seemingly solid and real “self.” We mistakenly think that we are what we imagine or believe, which becomes the ground for our actions. Whether we defend ourselves and what we believe or attack others because their ideas, beliefs, race, or sexual orientation are different from ours and perceived as a threat to me and my concepts and views, it is always based on confusing the temporary and fleeting “self” with something real, permanent and substantial and making it into the owner of our body, sensations, feelings, and thoughts.
We are dependent and attached to the definition of “me.” The possibility that it could be an illusion and not the basis for being is threatening. “What would I be without my image of what I am?” We keep our fists tightly closed and only occasionally notice that the seeming security comes with isolation, with being alone, vulnerable, and disconnected. As long as we band together with others with the same or similar images, we might feel empowered, justified, and connected and the existential threat may seem alleviated for a while.
Why are we so readily hurt or threatened when somebody criticizes us or our self-image is questioned? Is it because we have taken refuge in an illusory image of ourselves? Even if we notice that it might be unstable and, as the Buddha said, “like a burning house,” we still defend and protect it, thinking it is better than being un-defined and free. It takes courage to let this defined “me” fall away in the actuality of what is happening and live the lively and centerless “no-self,” constantly changing without abiding anywhere; without being obstructed by images of “what we are,” functioning freely from moment to moment. In forgetting ourselves, suddenly there is fullness - just listening, just smelling, just tasting. Afterward, the mind comes back online, informing us that it was “me” doing all those things, and we are so used to this that we hardly question it.
But before we look for answers and solutions, we need to look at what is going on in ourselves. We can’t just search for intimacy, good relations with each other, and some ease of being without identifying what the hindrance is in the first place. We need to see how we hold on to images and concepts. We also need to see how they are created and bought into and how they result in specific actions on a personal as well as a global level, politically and socially.
As long as we have something at stake, something we defend as “me,” intimacy, love, or ease of being will be elusive. When our view is clouded, we fall into duality and lose touch with the reality of what we are. When in the suchness of what is happening, nothing is grasped at, denied, altered, or left out, mundane and holy, delusion and enlightenment are one.
We can call this love, no-mind, not-knowing, or open-mindedness. These are all words pointing to that, which is immediately available to us all. And it isn’t just available - it is what we already originally are.
Sculpture: “Sitting Bodhisattva” Michael Hofman, http://michaeldhofmann.com
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