Soko Morinaga Roshi sometimes said: “It’s not necessary to look for something special; we just need to know our mistakes.” What he called mistakes is not just a matter of forgetting something or miscalculating something; rather, it is our compulsive habit of attaching to thoughts and at the center of these thoughts is always “me” and the strongly felt assumption that I am a separate person. We might think that we know about our attachment to thoughts, ideas, and concepts and that this knowing didn’t help undo the attachment or suffering yet. But our knowing is often casual. We don’t really know the enormity of confusion and suffering caused by our attachment and identification with thought.
For example, when I grew up, our living room was heated by a coal stove. I was probably five years old when I went by one time with outstretched hands. I don’t know if I was just an idiot or if I miscalculated the distance, but I touched the stove with my whole hand - it was very, very hot. After that experience, the temptation to touch any stove was utterly gone. I didn’t need my parents to tell me, “don’t touch; it’s hot.” That’s the kind of knowing the Roshi was pointing to.
However, our knowing is often shallow and easy to forget again. We are like fish; we see some bait, and again and again, we swallow it, hook, line, and sinker. We are not even very picky about the bait; almost anything will do. We just see the bait, not the hook, and swallow it readily. Afterward, we complain about bleeding gums and painful cheeks - we complain about life not treating us right, about our parents not loving us enough, about the job or our spouses. Anything will serve in the attempt to explain or excuse the sense of unease, the feeling of not having enough, of not being good enough, of not being whole.
Master Obaku said: “Your sole concern should be, as thought succeeds thought, to avoid clinging to any of them.” Or: “Most students of Zen cling to all sorts of sound and forms. Why do they not copy me by letting each thought go as though it were nothing, or as though it were a piece of rotten wood, a stone, or the cold ashes of a dead fire.”
Thoughts can be very enticing; they can promise so much and paint such an alluring picture. Whether it’s a picture of me being happy or an ongoing story-loop of me being wronged, it always puts “me” at the center of things -thoughts are good bait. We need to ask ourselves, “Is this thought leading to liberation, happiness, or peace?” If the answer is no, why follow it? This is the moment to know our mistakes instead of getting drawn into them and getting caught up in them.
Practice is not a matter of preventing thoughts from coming up; this is not what Master Obaku is talking about. He says: “Your sole concern should be, as thought succeeds thought, to avoid clinging to any of them.” So don’t get hooked, and don’t take it lightly. It’s not a matter of just being aware on our cushion; this awareness has to be there whether we are standing, sitting, walking, or lying down - every moment is a moment of knowing our mistakes; a moment of not getting caught up and entangled, a moment of freedom where everything will be revealed.
Why is it that people still follow the Buddha’s teaching? Why do we still read and listen to the masters of old and sit on our cushions? Because suffering has not changed, and our confusion is the same as it was two thousand years ago. The firmly held belief that I have a distinct and lasting self is as strong as ever. We can dream our life away, we can blame others, and we can accuse life of being unfair, or we can start to look at ourselves and know our mistakes. Then it doesn't matter how delicious the bait seems; we know without a doubt that there is a hook inside.
Again, listen to Master Obaku: “Your sole concern should be as thought succeeds thought to avoid clinging to any of them.”
Artwork: Dennis Elliott-Smith
This will be the last post I am sending out. Thank you for reading, and I hope that it inspired your practice. The last three postings are from a booklet “Infinite Ocean,” published in 2017 by Daishu-in West. For copies, please go to the website.
Dear Ursula, this really hit home as I read it first thing this morning! Thank you for the reminder of that "hot stove" of non clinging. These are deep teachings, and I thank you very much for sharing them.
Thank you Ursula, as always, perfect timing on this subject. 🤎